Is marriage work?

Recently my wife asked me if our marriage is work? My answer is sometimes it is, however most of time it is fun. In the seventeen years we have been together I admit sometimes there has been work involved in the sense of taking the time to stop and think about my actions or the words I needed to say. For example I know if I take the time to clean up the kitchen and load the dishwasher before I leave in the morning it makes her happy. Work for me but a happy wife is definitely more fun to be around.

Much of human behavior is learned and in the early stages of learning new behavior it is work but in time we develop habits we no longer need to think about.  Why not make an effort in your marriage to learn how to show your partner the kind of love they need? Gary Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages, can be a good guide to helping you figure out what you each need.  Learn how to have discussions about issues and solving problems. The more we work developing good habit the more rewarding you marriage will become.

In the end the harder you work the more fun your marriage will become.

Email me at